r-BLACK-LOVE-large570Last Friday I had the opportunity to engage in conversation with a 34 year old man who ensured me that he had the best advice of life for me. While I am completely numb to those words at this point, I also was a tad bit bored and began to weigh to the possibilities of how detrimental this conversation could be. After assessing the risks, I decided to listen to this 34 year old guy who essentially vomited on who I am and my ways of life. 

After a brief conversation we exchanged some personal information regarding our lifestyles in which I revealed to him that I would love to be in a relationship with a young lady who is worthy of my time. His demeanor quickly shifted from captivated to disappointed. “Listen man,” as he puts down his half full Corona. I knew it was about to get real. 

“You are not fully bloomed yet. You have your life ahead of you, 75 +years if you do it right. You’re on a road to success in your career man, why would you take that energy and waste it on a female right now?” He scoffed. “You don’t know yourself, how can you be there for someone else?” 

images (2)Damn if I thought this conversation was going to be peaceful. I’m not really argumentative anymore (That life will have you eating lunch alone), but for some reason his statements could not go unrequited. Never have I ever reached for my weapon this quick (Not real weapon). It was then I decided to fight for young love. Fist pump. 

images (3)Too often we have received criticism for pursuing relationships and expending our time to significant others, while our critics feel as though we should not be worried about relationships.  They often draw your attention to the fact that your 20′s are your “best years” & remind you of how you should use this time to see the world. The naysayers will also draw your attention to the fact that you aren’t a “whole” person yet (Whatever the F that means) and that you have nothing to offer another person. “You don’t want that headache and responsibility,” they said, “You’re too young to want that kind of stability,” they said. They will assure you that wasting time on love will cause iniquity in your  career and mutilate your future. 

While all of those accusations are true respectively, I still see no reason to say that we are “too young” for love.

black-women-friends-640x325A good life is a growing life, even in your old age you will be learning lessons and learning about yourself- If you do it right. How do I know? Well, lessons are results of problems or struggles that arise in your life. If you think that you are going to reach a point in life where you will no longer have any problems, then you are surely misinformed. The problems never stop, that means the lessons never stop. Seeing as you will continue to grow and learn about yourself and the world we live in (that is forever changing), when is the “right” time for love then? Right, exactly.

imagesThe beautiful thing about the point where love meets career is that a strong love life can improve your career. A good partner will be so invested in your life and your career that if you ever need career advice or need some encouragement to keep grinding to reach your goals, your significant will be there. I can honestly say that having someone to talk about my next career move with, has certainly helped to keep me on track. Two heads are better than one.What a blessing it can be to learn life’s lessons with someone, and on the opposite end of the spectrum imagine how depressing it can be to learn them alone. To have someone to grow with and help hold you accountable for greatness, honestly who can complain about that?    

In regards to “Seeing the world“, since when does a significant other restrict you from traveling? It’s foolish to think that a relationship would be a barrier to the rest of the world, what advanced stage of pessimism have you been meditating on to be that negative to think that a strong love life will prevent you from traveling? Sorcery.

To answer your question, no, you are not too young for love. Yes, you may not have experienced the lowest lows and the highest heights of your life, nor have you learned a fourth of the lessons that your life has to offer, but it’s absolutely nothing wrong with falling in love with someone deserving of your time and devotion. I think it’s unnecessary to address the fact that not only are we too young to FOCUS on relationships, but no one across the world should be FOCUSED on relationships.

You focus on life and then love will follow. Simple math. No age restrictions on that adage. 

If love calls your name before you hit the age of 30, you listen to that call and follow your heart. Don’t succumb to the critics who call you a child, too immature to love.Prove them wrong and introduce them to true love and the power that it has. 


Oh yeah, the 34 year old self proclaimed genius at the bar? He was still single. As the ladies say, “Bye Felicia”. 

@LordBrianJames (IG/Twitter) 



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