Stop Doing This If You’re Planning A Wedding In New York
You just got engaged. Now the planning begins. But before anything starts, there's at least one thing I'd suggest you DON'T do.
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You're planning a wedding - where do you start?
Planning a wedding is exciting. There's a ton of stuff to consider. When will the big date be? Where will you hold the wedding itself? Who will you invite? And one really important thing you need to ask yourself. Who will be there with you as a member of your bridal party?
The bridal party is one of the first things people start to figure out. They get so excited, they just start inviting people to be part of their big day. They've got a ton of friends that over time they've said would be in their wedding party. They've got friends from high school, friends from college, family, and family that is about to become in-laws that they want to invite. Before you know it, you've got a ton of people and you don't want to make any of them feel less special.
Limit Your bridal party to only a couple people
Trust me on this one...you don't need to ask them all. Limit your bridal party.
It's tough to do, I get it. You don't want anyone to feel slighted. It's a big day and you want everyone to know how important they are to you. But there's a better way to do it.
The best thing to do is to keep your bridal party small. Only invite a best man and a maid of honor and leave it at that.
Here are the pros and cons to having a small bridal party:
The Pros of having a big bridal party
You get to honor your friends and family - by including them in your big day, you'll make them feel special.
They can help with the planning - There's a lot to plan for a wedding. The bridal party can help with this.
The more the merrier - It feels like the energy of a big wedding party certainly helps to amp it up a little at the reception. Getting ready with a huge group is always more fun than doing it by yourself. You can also give them all a job and help to delegate tasks for the big day so that you don't have to remember everything.
The Cons of having a big bridal party
It's more expensive for you - Weddings are expensive enough. It's traditional to get your bridal party a gift to tell them "thank you." The more people in the party, the more gifts you have to buy. Also, if you're getting a limo...you'll need a bigger one.
It's more expensive for them - They have to buy dresses and rent tuxedos. And if they're throwing you a shower, or a bachelor or bachelorette party, they all traditionally kick in on that too. It's expensive to be a bridesmaid or a groomsman.
It's more to coordinate - Is someone in your party from out of town? Can you get everyone to be in the same place at the same time for the showers and parties leading up to the wedding? Can they all get off of work? It's not easy. You'll have more luck making sure everyone can be there if you have a smaller wedding party.
If you include everyone someone will still feel left out - It's easier to just say, I'm only including family in the bridal party and keep it low than to start inviting friends. The bigger your party is, the easier it is to hurt the feelings of the people who don't make the cut.
They might not all get along or agree - If people in your bridal party disagree with how something is going, it could easily create conflict between them. This is a case where it's better to have fewer cooks in the kitchen.
What should you do instead?
It's your day. You should do what makes you happy. If that means inviting 15 of your sorority sisters or all of your high school football team, then do that. But recent trends indicate that it's better to simply invite them to the wedding. Make sure they're there on your big day. Tell them that it's important to you to have them there. You can even invite them to come over or meet up early on the day of the wedding for the support that you're looking for.
But keep your actual bridal party small. Only invite friends or family that are super important to you. It will make it easier on them...and you.
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