Baby North West's name has finally been explained, and there's so much exposition needed that this kid is going to need pie charts and bar graphs on the playground.

Meanwhile, everyone ever is reporting that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got engaged, but sources close to the couple insist it's just not true.

As for rumor number one, despite the logical conclusion the little girl was named by a GPS, insiders told TMZ that North West was actually named for inspirational reasons. Specifically, the name North is a placeholder for "up," and the couple allegedly jokes to friends, "What's North of North? Nothing." (We didn't say it was a funny joke.)

They also believe their baby to be the high-point in their relationship, saying the new addition is their "North Star." Which we suppose isn't any less touching (or any less weird) than the common practice of naming one's child after dead family members.

Kimye, meanwhile, have been the subject of rumors that they got engaged and are planning a September wedding, with Kanye buying his betrothed a "rare black and tiger-stripe diamond ring" to seal the deal.

But those in the know say these allegations are simply "not true." While the couple is definitely in love, they apparently have no plans to wed anytime soon. (At least not until Kris Jenner can work out a lucrative TV deal. Priorities!)