Cassandra Rose

This reality star/former celebrity wife once became the poster child for First World Problems by complaining, "The only thing is, the apartment was a little small for us. It's about 3,500 square feet."

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This recently-purchased Mulholland Estate home is owned by a former Mouseketeer and teen idol who's finally decided to embrace her new curves.

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Remember when MTV played music videos? As this country music pop star explained of the medium, "The only reason that you do visual is solely for the visual ... It doesn't sell your music for you."

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Celebrity diets are so weird. This former television lawyer once admitted, "I just can't eat without my sunglasses."

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This is how the world ends -- not with a bang, but without procreation. As this actor explained, "I have this wacky theory about the end of civilization, that people will trade up ... until they're too old to have kids. And the world will come to an end."

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This Malibu compound is owned by a very established (read: older) actor who, despite being nominated for three Academy Awards, has yet to win one.

Don't worry, Mr. Susan Lucci. Your day will come.

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The 'American Idol' feud between Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey is still going strong -- and now gossip-blogger Perez Hilton has been pulled into the catfight.

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We see what you were trying to do there. Maybe. This actor once bumbled, "Nothing's permanent. It's like those faded black and white photos of people dressed in old-fashioned clothes. One day that's going to be us."

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We don't know if he was referring to men or women or animals or what, but this depressing alt-rocker once complained, "Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death."

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Thanks for your spectacular insight, Captain Obvious. This actress once stated the oh-so-apparent, "Wireless communications are an integral part of our culture today."

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Michael Jackson's mother Katherine is currently in the midst of a wrongful death suit against tour promoter AEG Live, which she claims was responsible for the death of her son because the company hired embattled doctor Conrad Murray to look after him. But now she has something new to worry about.

Seems Debbie Rowe, Michael's ex-wife and the mother of his children Prince and Paris, is set to testify -- but lawyers are concerned she might say under oath that Michael is not the kids' biological father.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, of course.

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They say dogs are just like their owners -- and this actor is no exception. As he tells it, "I pee outside my house in my yard. I usually start my day off by taking the dogs out. While they go, I go. I bond and I feel like a caveman."

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