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Chris Illuminati

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Man in Gumby Suit Tries to Rob 7-11 (But Doesn’t End Up in the Pokey) [VIDEO]

A man dressed as Gumby made such a horrible attempt at robbing a 7-11 store that the clerk thought it was all a joke. The assailant told the clerk he was being robbed then fumbled inside his costume as if he was going to pull out a gun. He ended up dropping 27 cents on the floor and being told by the man behind the counter “not to waste his time.”

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Category: Weird News
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Unemployed Man Finds $150K in Vegetable Garden

Here is how the cheesy late-90′s stand-up comic buried deep in our subconscious would report this story:

“Hey folks! Did you read the story in the Northwest Herald today about a guy in Illinois that found $150K in his backyard garden? Talk about growing some cabbage! Am I right folks? Those are a different kind of greens my friends! You hear what I’m saying everyone?!?”

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Category: Weird News Tags:

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