Chris Illuminati

Live concerts are often incredibly loud and when one local reporter was dispatched to a music venue prepping for the night’s show, she recoiled at the deafening sound check alone.

It only took four quarters and one lackluster performance from Broncos’ starting quarterback Kyle Orton for the Denver faithful to start up a ‘Tebow’ chant during Monday night’s 23-20 loss to the Raiders.
The Denver Post reports that Broncos’ fans have already had enough of Orton and the conservative…

A man dressed as Gumby made such a horrible attempt at robbing a 7-11 store that the clerk thought it was all a joke. The assailant told the clerk he was being robbed then fumbled inside his costume as if he was going to pull out a gun. He ended up dropping 27 cents on the floor and being told by th…

Maybe quality time with the kids isn’t always a positive thing: AM NY reports that one father that not only made his infant daughter an accomplice to a drug deal but used her stroller to transport heroin and firearms.

Here is how the cheesy late-90′s stand-up comic buried deep in our subconscious would report this story:
“Hey folks! Did you read the story in the Northwest Herald today about a guy in Illinois that found $150K in his backyard garden? Talk about growing some cabbage! Am I right folks? Th…