What's a drunk mother have to do to discipline her bad kids ? Call 911? That's probably not the best choice, but 27-year-old Melissa Townsend decided to do last week. According to police, she called 911 to ask for an officer to come by her home in Indian Harbour Beach, Florida to scare the shit out of her 18-month-old and 3-year-old kids. In the 911 call, Melissa tells the dispatcher: "I need a police officer to come out and scare the sh*t out of my kids."

When asked why, she replied: "They're not listening to me and they need to learn respect and they need to learn people i law enforcement and otherwise are to have authority. They need to learn a lesson." The dispatcher told her that's not the role of the police and subsequently sent an officer to the home, where things got testy. While being arrested for being a bad parent, she kicked the officer several times in the groin.

She was finally arrested and charged with a slew of charges, including child neglect and battery on a law enforcement officer. Alcohol and Big Dummies don't mix.